I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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