So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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