i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
