She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
