Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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