ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
