i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
