I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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