what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
