I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
