i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He kissed a someone with a penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
