he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
