We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
