last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
