I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
not ubering you a puppy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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