No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
