my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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