I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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