did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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