he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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