is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
