Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
