So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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