summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
