TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
