My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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