I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
