Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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