it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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