I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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