is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
the raccoons are back...
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