I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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