I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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