Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
