3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
