shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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