I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
