Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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