Are we in a gay sports bar?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
