Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
