so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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