Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
