the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
