We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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