You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
