So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
