Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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