there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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