So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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