You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
