this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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